Keep Calm and Carry On

"...I always pray with joy...

being confident of this,

that he who began a good work in you

will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 1:4,6

Twice in my adult life I've had anxiety and panic attacks knock my legs out from under me. The first time it happened as I was nearing menopause in 2022. My therapist credited the fluctuating hormones for kicking the panic up as high as it went, but I actually credit God for letting it get the better of me for a minute. God had been trying for some time to get my attention - a good year or longer - and panic disorder left me with no alternative but to stop, catch my breath (literally!), and figure out a better life balance. Since I refused to listen, God smacked me upside the head in order to make me understand that I had too much going on and needed to take better care of myself. Of course, I didn't necessarily see the panic and anxiety as a gift from God at the time I was strguggling with it...I just felt defeated, confused, and overwhelmed.

Prayer was key to my healing, but there were additional things necessary for my healing from the anxiety and panic. We are spiritual beings who live in physical bodies and when anxiety hits, physical measures must be taken to calm the body and brain. Without doing these things, anxiety will persist. Feeling anxiety or panic means your flight-or-fight response has been triggered. Your body needs calm to assure it of safety. I saw a very helpful therapist who shared with me some concrete actions to start calming my nervous system: standing silently in the dirt of my garden for 15 minutes every morning, using a weighted blanket at bedtime, pressing ice onto my chest to stop a panic attack, listening to the sounds of birds, and somatic tapping.

I credited God with getting me to all the right people and interventions to help me heal, but I never thought that God might actually have sent the anxiety and panic my way. Jesus always said, "Be not afraid." Why would he send something like anxiety and panic into my life?

Fast forward three years. I had been doing great - no panic attacks, anxiety was manageable if it arose, and I felt back to my normal self. Only my body was different since menopause...drier, more tired, unable to sleep through the night. I didn't think anything of it. I wasn't having anxiety or panic attacks, so I was good. Right? No, I was pushing through. My father's dementia was worsening. Work was taxing. In July 2024, my beloved cat, Kip, died rather suddenly. Did I implement any of the interventions my therapist had given me to help get me through the building stress? Nah. I was managing okay.

Dad died early in August 2025. About six weeks later, the anxiety and panic attacks came back. I started praying something fierce and called up my therapist, whom I hadn't seen in at least a year. I researched grief, joined a GriefShare group, journaled, and felt the effects of not having taken proper care of myself while I was taking care of Dad. I kept putting it off and doing so took a massive toll on my nervous system. I finally realized what God had done in 2022 to help me because he did the same in 2025 - he used the one thing he knew would get my attention to remind me of the importance - of the necessity - of taking care of my own body, mind, and spirit.

I shared this realization with my friend, who asked me, "Isn't it amazing to think about the lengths God goes to in order to get our attention? How incredible is it that he never gave up on you?" Yes! It is totally amazing!! God is indeed incredible, and incredibly in love with each one of us! He will never give up on us, never leave us in our darkest nights. Thanks be to God!!!

Life looks so very different without my father. He meant the world to me and in the moment he took his last breath, my world felt like it stopped turning. Slowly but surely, God is helping it to turn again. Healing from grief isn't linear. Some days are more challenging than others, some moments of a day are filled with tears even when I'm having a great time with family or friends. Yet God is with me every step of the way. I couldn't be more blessed.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the plans you have for me.

Even though I will try, I know I won't always take care of myself like I should.

Thank you for already knowing how you'll get my attention to get me back on track.

Thank you for showing me time and again that you will never give up on me. Amen.

A sunflower halfway open...a work in progress that reminds us how God never gives up on his creation.